"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
