Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Boobs are out for the taking
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
