im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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