Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
