she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
