the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
