I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
