We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
