Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize