god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
