You're completely useless in the revolution.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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