people are starting to question the shark bite story
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
