If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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