i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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