I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
