At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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