No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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