I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
