Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
