I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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