So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
