You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
