Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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