Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
