So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
