never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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