u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
soo... how was my night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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