I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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