They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize