I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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