just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
