i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
