I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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