it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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