he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
