btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
