The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
