so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
