OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
