Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize