Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
