it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
