Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
