Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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