also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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