me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
