Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
