Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
