how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
