If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
