so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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