She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize