How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
