My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize