And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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