i jhust puked up my retainher.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im holly from the hills drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
