i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
