It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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