Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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