JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
