hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
