what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I want her autograph on my taint
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
