i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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