i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
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You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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