I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
