I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
