my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
