I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
