Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
