Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drunk is not a location!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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