I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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