Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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