"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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